Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Getting Drunk With Co-Workers: A Guide to Embracing Alcoholism While Enjoying Your Job

Thank you, Mr. Beerman, for an insightful post. Your contribution disrupted my writer's block and put me back on track.

That said, I would like to take this opportunity to unpack another common pitfall associated with boozing with the co-workers that, if overlooked, can prevent a young "go-getter" from "embracing alcoholism while enjoying [his] job." The problem I am referring to, dear friends, is one most of us have probably encountered in our yuppie days: the morning after.

Without proper planning, Thursday's happy hour (or "HH" in email lingo) can quickly evolve into a nightmarish Friday morning. Let's explore a hypothetical. Worker A meets Workers B, C, D, E, F, and - to everyone's surprise - Worker C's three roommates, Roomies 1, 2, 3. Everyone meets at the local pour house for "a few drinks after work." But, as is often the case, a few drinks graduates to pitchers, car bombs, and that squirrelly guy we call "Jack." Fast forward 3 hours, and the group is over-served.

Here is where the trouble begins. Worker E has his eye on Worker D, but he knows he should not dip his pen in the company ink. So what does he do? You probably guessed it: he shys away from Worker D and buys a round for Roomie 2. Clever, right? Nope...

Now as we all know, alcohol impairs your judgment. There is simply no way around this infallible truth. So Worker E goes home with Roomie 2, and therefore also goes home with Worker C. I should emphasize that Worker E and Worker C are good friends, but that does not improve the situation; if anything, it makes it far worse. You see, Worker C, in a joking manner, tells the ENTIRE OFFICE on Friday morning about Worker E's less-than-professional behavior. Emails circulate, rumors spread, and, well, you know the rest.

Again, I have to emphasize planning because Worker E did nothing blatantly wrong. Had Worker E planned ahead better, he would have been fine. Worker E should planned to go home alone, or pursue Roomie 2 under more suitable conditions. But now it's Friday morning, he clothes are wrinkly, he is late for work, and he is suffering through a hangover.


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