Thursday, December 28, 2006

Person of the year

While perusing the print media last week, I was both shocked and delighted to discover that I, your humble correspondent, had been voted Time Magazine's Person of the Year. Yes, I may have been influential this year, but was I really that deserving? Ever gracious, I took the time to thank everyone that had helped me along the way, including you, dear readers. It goes without saying that I was again surprised to find out that I had to share the award with all you plebes out there in the greater internet community. And here I was expecting a trophy and one of those big checks.

Yes, Time's Person of the Year award is once again a huge cop-out. Apparantly its editors have decided that we all need a self-esteem boost (everyone's a winner!) instead of a thoughtful debate as to who was the most influential person of 2006. No worry though, The Recipe is once again here to clean up the mess made by the established media. And thus, I introduce to you the candidates for The Recipe's Person of 2006 award.

In the interests of provoking a lively debate in the blogosphere, I've decided to remain faithful to the original criteria of Time's award. The primary question is: Who has had the biggest effect on this year's news? Remember that this is not a humanitarian award, nor is it a popularity contest (sorry, Rudy Giuliani). I've also made an effort to select a variety of candidates, both American and foreign, political and cultural, so as to defend myself from past criticisms that the award is too politically biased and American centered.

You are welcome to submit your own candidates. I will consider them at my leisure. I will announce the winner when I get around to writing a new post.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - Time may have given him second place, but is he number one in our eyes? From continuing to stick his proverbial middle finger at the US vis-a-vis uranium enrichment to the "Kartoon Kontroversy" to sponsoring a conference on Holocaust denial, the Iranian President never failed to leave the spotlight. Will he be back in '07? Almost certainly.

Jack Abramoff & Mark Foley - Jacko spent the year passing out bribes and Mark spent it jacking off to congressional pages. With this tenacious duo, who can blame GOP supporters from staying away from the polls? Dubya may have lied to the public, wiretapped the public, done nothing to stop the violence on the (Iraqi) public, but apparantly all the Dems needed to win control of Congress was a golf trip to Ireland and a few inappropriate text messages. Who knew?

Anna Politkovskaya - This Russian journalist made a name for herself by sharply criticizing Kremlin policy and the war in Chechnya, and was brutally murdered in her Moscow apartment building this past October. Her murderer and the reasons behind the killing are still unclear, though fingers have been pointed at the Kremlin as well as pro-Kremlin forces in Chechnya. Alexander Litvinenko, former KGB agent, accused Vladimir Putin of ordering her assasination, before being poisoned himself last month. Her life was a reminder of the importance of journalistic freedom, while her death highlights the brutality and lawlessness that exists in post-Soviet Russia.

Duke lacrosse boys - Did they or didn't they? They may have been cleared of rape charges this month, but we might never know the truth of what happened that night, or exactly who is to blame. Still, their case highlighted the fact that class and racial tensions are still very much alive in this country.

Kevin Federline - I'm kidding. Or am I? He knocked up Brittany (twice), then launched a new album. During the subsequent tour his promoters had to give away tickets in Chicago, while the New York show sold a whopping 200 tickets. The court of public opinion has already judged him to be a first-class loser. And yet we remain entranced.

Well, there you have it. Maybe Dietsch or Cook has something to add. If not, I'll announce the winner in a week or so, when Cook announces his answer to the trivia question that he posted a few weeks back.


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